Oh, my. This is a turn-up, and no mistake. The "Telly". The "Boob Tube", as some call it. The televisual transmitting device. Within its depths are to be found socio-culturally ephemeral, yet soignée and sublime microcosms of the contemporary human experience. To truly understand its workings would require an undertaking befitting the hypothetical love-child of Thomas Edison and Bertrand Russell. Or perhaps Wittgenstein. One never quite knows with hypothetical love-prodigy-progeny, does one?
I am not particularly au fait with the precise hardware specifications of the telectroscopic beacon but I shall nevertheless endeavor, through the application of armchair reasoning and common-sense (namely: ad ignorantiam) logical processes, to summarize to the best of my knowledge the internal nature of this fondation véritable of our zeitgeist contemporain.
The bollocking nature of the post-structuralist nomenklatura would have us believe in (accept, even) a "third-order" approach to the topic of television; that its internal structure exists separately from the twin constructs of phenomenological reality and the imagination. Contrary to this school of thought (which has all the honorificabilitudinitatibus and saccharine meretricity of an Amador Zinfandel), I chose to tackle the problem primarily with an understanding that it exists and functions along clearly neo-animist principles.
To wit:
There are tiny people inside the television.
Though I cannot imagine the implications for Platonic philosophy (especially with regards to the metaphorical Cave with which it deals) and the nature of ideals and forms as they relate to tangible existence, it seems blatantly - axiomatically, even - apparent that there exist miniature spirits or creatures, whether physical or non-material (in the Cartesian-dualistic sense, of course) who exist (again, in the Cartesian-dualistic sense) to fight, speak, sing, dance, and otherwise educate and entertain in whatever manner is fit for our amusement as televisual audiences (whatever implications for von-Neumannic state-vector collapse or quantum entanglement theory (of the Copenhagen interpretation as opposed to the Freemanite (Gordon Freeman being the protagonist of Half-Life 2 (a fictional videophonic game (though not a "game" in the game-theoretical sense)))) that term may entail).
This conclusion initially proved irksome to resolve with the apparently contradictory observation that the images of said spirits or creatures occupy a decidedly three-dimensional state (two spatial, one temporal) as opposed to an eleven-dimensional one (ten spatial, one temporal). It occurred to me that these pan-cosmic beings (or "peCings") must possess the ability to rearrange themselves on a molecular level so as to appear (and, indeed, be) flattened - an ability that is surely not difficult to grant a modicum of plausibility given the outstanding existential state in which these entities decidedly exist (note, in addition, that some of these peCings possess the frankly astonishing trait of survival in a plasmic environment - hence the term, "plasma screen"). This also explains the converse ability of the peCings to appear eleven-dimensional in so-called "3-D" small-screen contexts.
Curiously, imagining these creatures in a television constructed as a Calabi-Yau manifold strongly implies that David Bowie is the cosmological constant, but that is a topic of research perhaps best left for another time.
These are my basic thoughts on the image-cannon and the nature of its internal systems. In a future article I will endeavor to elaborate upon the particular kinds of entertainment and education up with which we put in this new context, specifically those of the erodramatic persuasion.
Namely:
Schwing!
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